Marty Haughey

Marty Haughey

Friday, November 16th, 1951 - Thursday, May 7th, 2020
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Marty Lynn Haughey, age 68, passed away peacefully on May 7, 2020, due to a long battle with a liver disease and its complications. She was born on November 16, 1951, in San Diego, CA to Norman Charles West and Thelma Gloria West. She married her husband Charles (Chuck) S. Haughey, Jr., on December 5, 2009, in San Diego.

Marty had the best and brightest smile and loved to laugh and surrounded herself with family and friends. Marty loved music since she was young, and in high school she played the clarinet in the Monte Vista High School band. That love of music and singing continued throughout her life. She loved to sing, and returned to college to obtain a degree in music so she could take on the role of a choir director. She would go on to direct the choirs at St. Kieran Catholic Church and then later at St. Martin’s Catholic Church and others. Marty also learned to play the piano and her love of singing brought her joy as she taught others to sing through private lessons in her home. However, her love of music did not stop there as she and a church pianist formed a singing group, occasionally involving her daughter Kimberly, that would tour around San Diego County to different retirement facilities and perform show tunes and other songs. She truly enjoyed singing for others. For a short period of time she also sang with some of the other church choir members and with their guitarist at weddings, including her son Scott’s wedding to Trisha. One of the fondest memories that Marty’s children have is of her singing them lullabies at bed time when they were young children. Marty also enjoyed the arts, painting, and crafting. She and her mother created the most adorable dolls with hand painted faces.

Marty loved to travel, visiting her son Scott, his wife, and children while they were stationed at Minot Air Force Base (AFB), ND, three trips to Ramstein, Germany, and a few more to Spokane, WA while Scott was in the Air Force. She also traveled to visit her daughter Kimberly, her husband, and children when they were stationed at Elmendorf AFB, Anchorage, Alaska; Seymour Johnson, Goldsboro NC and Fairchild AFB, Spokane, WA, and an awesome trip to New York to visit her niece Amber Grosse. Most recently, she and Chuck shared a love of travel and enjoyed their trips to Lake Tahoe, Hawaii, and several national parks. They took a wonderful trip to Ireland a couple years ago. Marty treasured every day of her life, although it was too short. She always felt absolutely loved by Chuck who she would say was her best friend.

Marty worked for many law firms as a legal secretary since she was in her 20s. She ended her career as a legal secretary after many years with Lewis, Brisbois, Bisgaard & Smith, LLP. She took pride in her work, she was extremely organized, and made sure she did everything perfectly. She was always dressed professionally in every aspect of the word. Marty had said that her mother once told her “if you want others to think you are important then you need to look important.”

“And He will raise you up on Eagle’s wings, bear you on the breath of dawn, make you to shine like the sun, and hold you in the palm of His hand.” – By Michael Joncas.

Marty was survived by her husband Chuck, her sister Barbara Grosse and her husband David Grosse; her son Scott Cunningham and his wife Trisha and their four children Tyler, Bailey, Jacob and Adilyn; her daughter Kimberly Icenhower and her husband Eric and their children Rileigh and Sawyer; her six step children Patrick Haughey; Scott Curran and his partner Becca and their children, Gage, Dayton, Kingston and Everly; Christopher Haughey and his wife Lisa their child Adalyn; Phillip Haughey and his wife Marissa and their children Maya and Dylan; Jeff Haughey and his wife Cara and their children Noah, Jonah and Levi; Stacey Biondo and her husband Keith and their child Gemma; and her stepfather, Chuck Haughey, Sr., including many nieces and nephews. She loved them all dearly.

Marty was a loving and devoted mother to her children Scott and Kimberly. She filled their home with love, spirituality, music, animals (mostly birds) and laughter. She was also a loving and devoted wife to the love of her life and best friend, Chuck. She will be sorely and deeply missed. Our precious memories of her will be cherished forever. May God hold her in the hollow of his hand, and give her a special place in His choir.

Please join us in celebrating her life with a viewing at East County Mortuary, 374 N. Magnolia, El Cajon, Thursday, May 14, 2020, from 1-5:00 pm, and at the interment when our sweet lovely Marty will be laid to rest at Holy Cross Cemetery Friday May 15, 2020, at 11:00 am. A funeral service and memorial mass won’t be possible until current restrictions are lifted, but when possible it will take place at Santa Sophia Church in Spring Valley. Donations in lieu of flowers in memory of Marty can be sent to The Sharp Health Care Foundation. The website is:

A Tribute by her loving and devoted husband, Chuck Haughey.

My dear, sweet, beloved Marty was taken from us too soon. She has been the absolute love and light of my life and my best friend. It has been the joy and privilege of my life to be her devoted and loving husband. There has never been a better place for me to be than with her, including traveling, visiting family or friends, dinner dates, and particularly just being at home together. She always made our home a warm, loving and happy place. I have never been so consistently happy and in love as I have been with her. She was simply beautiful and a joy and delight to be with. She was kind, smart and fun with a touch of mischief, and her smile and her laugh were the best. She was perfect for me and we had the perfect marriage. She was the light of my life.

Marty and I met at work about 10 years before we married, and over time she worked as my legal secretary for about 9 years. She was simply the best. Over time we also became friends, and when we came upon hard times in our prior marriages, we turned to each other for comfort and support, and to just talk. We had separated from our spouses and began to see each other more seriously. It didn’t take long for us to fall deeply and irretrievably in love with each other. We became inseparable and not only in love, but best friends. That never changed from then on.

We married on December 5, 2009, one of the happiest days of our lives together. Falling in love with her and marrying her was one of the luckiest, smartest and best things I ever did. The blending of our families was a bit of a challenge, but it worked out well over time. Marty had two children by her prior marriages and I had six. Now we have 17 wonderful and beautiful grandchildren. One of our great joys has always been to be with our family, to visit and spend time with them and watch them grow, mature, become strong and independent leaders and have families of their own, and to have family gatherings at holidays or just anytime. Watching all the grand babies come into the world and grow up has been a true joy, and something we both loved. What a delight and privilege to be able to do that together with her.

Marty always made sure I was ok and happy. She took care to be well dressed, and always took time to be sure her hair was perfect – which of course it was. We never missed a chance to say I love you, and did so every day. She will always be with me in my heart, though my heart is broken. There is a massive hole in my life that can never be filled. I miss my sweet loving Marty so much, and I will always miss her and think of her. We all have so many wonderful and precious memories of her, and I treasure them. She was such an important part of my life and the lives of her family and friends, and she was the glue for me in my life.

We have been able to go a lot of places and have many special times and memories together. Still, eleven years together was simply not enough. We were able to do a good deal of traveling and exploring parts of the world together, including three trips to Hawaii, to Ireland with my Dad and brother Norm and his wife Mary, as well as to the Grand Tetons, Glacier Park, several national parks, and, of course, several trips to Lake Tahoe, our special place. I enjoyed taking her to Kalamazoo and Gull Lake, Michigan, for my Aunt Esther’s 100th birthday celebration so she could meet my extended family and see where my Dad grew up and where we had so many great times when I was younger. We both loved visiting and being with our family, and participating in special events such as birthdays, anniversaries and holidays.

Traveling and visiting became more difficult for her the last few years, as her disease took more and more of her from us, robbing her of her health and vigor. We had to deal with her increasing fatigue, weakness and various disabilities as a result of her liver disease and complications from it. She first needed a cane, then a walker and a wheel chair. For the last year and a half she needed a caregiver during the weekdays. She made the best of it though, and still enjoyed her life. Her spirit and spunk always shined through.

We all knew her insidious disease would take her from us someday, but that didn’t make it any easier. If she could talk to us now, she would probably tell us “I told you I was sick!” She would also say how very much she loved, enjoyed and treasured each of us. Several years ago she had to give up directing the choir and then singing in it, things she loved. She retired on disability from her career as a legal secretary not long after we were married. She became more easily fatigued and weak, and needed more rest. We had to increasingly accommodate her health difficulties, but we were determined to deal with it as best we could, and I tried to be sure she was happy and enjoying her life as much as possible.

She had too many doctor visits, medicines, hospitalizations and surgeries, including annual procedures related to the liver disease, two cervical fusions, and four surgeries to fix her broken elbow. Throughout, she was blessed to have had excellent medical and hospital care. We were always grateful for the excellent care she received, particularly from Dr. Weinman, Dr. Hackett, Dr. Alberton and others, as well as the great doctors and nurses at Sharp Grossmont and Sharp Memorial hospitals. This last episode was just too serious and too much to come back from. I am so grateful I was able to be with her the last days of her life and at the end.

We have been blessed to have had my dear sweet Marty as long as we did. I have been blessed, lucky and privileged to know her, to be her husband and best friend, and to love her more than I can ever express. We were crazy about each other. We adored each other. I still adore her and will miss her deeply; she will never be forgotten. She is now an angel with a special place in God’s choir. I asked God to give her a good room. I also asked her to save me a spot right next to her. Until then may God hold her in the hollow of his hand.

I love you my darling gorgeous wife. I miss you so very much baby doll. I am and will always be your loving and devoted husband.

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Service Details

  • Interment

    Holy Cross Cemetery
    4470 Hilltop Drive
    SAN DIEGO, CA 92102
    Get Directions: View Map | Text | Email


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Norman, Michael & Paul Haughey sent flowers to the family of Marty Haughey.
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Steve West

Posted at 09:24am
I am so sorry to hear this news about cousin Marty. I had lost touch with her for many years and had no idea she was in this fight. I have many fond memories of Marty as we were growing up in San Diego. She was always upbeat and fun to be around. We were lucky to have her.
Barb and Dave, I'd love to know how to connect with you. ; 720-313-4809 cell
My best to Marty's entire family.
Steve West

Kimberly Icenhower Posted at 10:52pm

Hi Steve! It’s been so long. This is Kimberly, Marty’s daughter. I know we would all love to be in touch. It was so hard after both my Thelma and Norman passed as well. Please do not hesitate to call my at 919-273-7227 My email is I will get in touch with you to tell you Barbara and Dave’s information if you have not already heard from them. Thank you so much.

Steven M. O'Neal

Posted at 02:47pm
I never had the pleasure of meeting Marty , but by the way Chuck speaks of her, I would have greatly enjoyed knowing her. Chuck, my heart goes out to you and your family . Just take comfort in knowing that Marty is in a much better place now and that you will join her in heaven some day. Not too soon, however, as I value our friendship. in the "here and now"

Kate Cameron

Posted at 12:11pm
Marty was the person that I really clicked with at Blessed Sacrament choir. She recruited me to take the position of organist for the traditional choir. I learned so much from her, respected her selections of music and I know our small but powerful group made great music together. Heaven has gained an angel with our dear, sweet Marty. God bless us all.

Kate Cameron

Kimberly Icenhower Posted at 10:54pm

Thank you Kate. I am so glad to hear memories of her. She enjoyed music and making music. I’m glad you got to know her. ~Kimberly

Kimberly Icenhower Posted at 10:54pm

Thank you Kate. I am so glad to hear memories of her. She enjoyed music and making music. I’m glad you got to know her. ~Kimberly

Kimberly Icenhower Posted at 10:54pm

Thank you Kate. I am so glad to hear memories of her. She enjoyed music and making music. I’m glad you got to know her. ~Kimberly

Patti Burch

Posted at 01:40am
Sent with love and remembrance,
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A memorial tree was planted in the memory of Marty Haughey — Plant a Tree Now

Patricia Burch

Posted at 11:47am
My dear sweet friend, mentor and confidant will be truly missed by so many. We had many great conversations after choir rehearsals, often spending more hours talking after the rehearsal than we did rehearsing. We laughed, cried and encouraged each other through some challenging decisions and I will be forever grateful for her faith in me and my abilities. God Bless you sweet Marty! May your sweet voice lift in heavenly song leading a choir of angels.

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